Friday, September 26, 2008

Po tate ohhhh

OK my little chick - a - doodles.... free from the embarrassing confines of stories about rock-stalking I'm on to my favorite pastime - making fun of jock/townies from the north shore.

For years i worked at a comedy club located in the Kowloon restaurant in Saugus. The clientele there were a never ending source of joy and amusement. Here is one of my favorite little happy tales.

picture it. a warm summer evening. standing at my podium just inside the two giant swinging doors that make the main entrance to Kowloon. Its a fairly quiet night. the sort of slow night where a ticket seller pays close attention to everyone coming in to see if he can psychically rope them into coming to the show. Oh and its 1993 or so.

Suddenly BOTH of the swinging doors BURST open as if flung by the incredible hulk. It was actually 2 incredible hulks. through the wide swung doors two of the ultimate stereotypical north shore muscle heads amble through - literally doing the bow legged cowboy walk. their walk is best described as looking like some sort of like malfunctioning cowboy gorilla robots. They were BOTH wearing ripped neck and arm hole sweatshirts. Baggy Zebra pants. Mandals, and a glistening sheen as though they had just oiled up for weightlifting competition. I'd seen some of these people before - usually at revere beach on summer days - or on the occasional first and only visit to a local gym before letting the remainder of my membership go unused. But these guys were terrifying. They looked like the could take Schwarzenegger apart with their bare hands.

so - the doors fling open. Tony Testosterony and his friend amble 4 steps into the lobby. Both of them sort of do this exaggerated look around the room - as if they're not quite sure where they've just materialized - looking floor to ceiling, wall to wall. Suddenly Tony backhands his friend on the chest and says:


and both of them nodded.

and turned.

and left.

I felt like i had just witnessed the worlds first flash-mob organized by Salvatore Dali - i mean - it certainly felt surreal. to this day i don't know exactly what that meant - they were full from an earlier meal of liquefied potatoes and decided to forgo Chinese food after all? I half thought someone put them up to it - like a prank or a part of a scavenger hunt, but that made no sense either.

just a little episode of weirdness to brighten an otherwise quiet night.

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